Little Worry Wart

I know, I know I want to be a more positive happy person. I don't want to have to worry about little trivial things that in the end mean nothing, but what if major things are happening to the people around you? Can I worry then?

My sister is at the moment going through a break up, after years of mental abuse from an alcoholic and after having two children she has finally had the courage to leave. She has left in the past but went back after a week or a couple of days because he made her feel that she would never make it out there on her own. Sure she has had to move back to our folks house to get herself on track, (she is very lucky with the support network she has some women don't have that so they keep going back time and time again) but in the end she has moved on to make sure that her and her kids have the life that they deserve. (I need to mention that I am too now living back at home, it's like an episode of Packed to the Rafters everyone has moved back home plus two lol.)

Why am I worried you may be asking? I mean all his attempts to get back have failed, he pulled the old ones that he has used before: Making her feel that without him she won't survive financially for example ringing her telling she has to pay the car off, not helping pay for anything for the kids, getting her to pay the bills. Then he has gone through anger (while being drunk of coarse) His new ones have included the feel sorry for me approach "I have nothing to live for now", he called to say good bye to the kids because he wanted my sister to believe he was going to kill himself. He then told his sister he tried to electrocute himself, he has also cut all his hands from being in a drunken rage after talking to his mum on the phone (she is also a drunk)

All these different attempts haven't worked if anything made it easier for her to stay away so there is no worry there. My worry is for those kids and my sister saying he is going to see them this weekend. He isn't stable, not at all he has tried to hurt himself. His attempt to get sober was going to check out a rehab place but hasn't checked himself in. He should not be allowed to see those kids, especially not on his own and not over night. When I questioned her about it and said that he should not have those kids on his own, she changed her mind and said it would be at his sisters so someone would be there which I hope she means. She did tell him no for having them over night, which makes me feel a bit better.

The way I see it is that maybe holding his kids away from him will make him want to change his ways and get some help. That's the thing with this guy, he has gotten away with so much everyone seems to move on every time he stuffs up. Like getting so drunk and abusive after one of my cousins weddings that he was going to hit another cousin (female) with a pool cue, or trying to start a fight with my dad one Christmas holiday, or watching him throw my sister out of the way to try and fight his own brother (who is also a drunk), seeing him smack my nephew in the back of the head because he was going to put his foot in a puddle, we have all moved on from that because he was with my sister. Maybe if he doesn't get away with it he might actually learn that to get what he wants he has to have some respect.

I love those kids as if they were my own, it might be different because I don't have kids myself but no matter how I feel on any given day they will make me feel great. They are my sunshine. I worry though with them going to see their father, I worry that he will be one of those mad men that because he can't get his own way and wants to hurt his ex he will hurt those kids. He is unstable and should not be left alone with those kids until he gets help. If someone is willing to hurt themselves then they could quite easily hurt someone else.

I also worry that he will ruin all the progress my sister has made with the kids, when she first come to mum's there were Tantrums morning and night from my nephew he seems happy now and there are no tantrums.

So this is my reason for not feeling all bright and shinny today, I think I have a right worry though.